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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621101">Inveiglements</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Void_of_Self/pseuds/Void_of_Self'>Void_of_Self</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, likely to get pretty dark at some point</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 10:13:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28621101</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Void_of_Self/pseuds/Void_of_Self</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>With high school being over, Natsume's life is about to irrevocably change once again and fate (or a certain dark-haired exorcist) seems bent on interfering with his plans. Yet sometimes, as Natsume will learn, giving in is a good thing.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Matoba Seiji/Natsume Takashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>39</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. At the end, a beginning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Winter was well and truly over. The park across from the Yowake high school was clad in vibrant green, with insects clustered around the earliest of the flowers peeking through the crisp grass. It was empty of humans, except for a pair of mothers sitting on one of the benches and chatting, while their children were chasing a round, fuzzy white ball trailing a line behind it and occasionally giving loud barks.</p><p><i>Not an ayakashi then.</i> With a sigh that briefly obscured the windowpane before evaporating into the dry air of the classroom, Natsume allowed his gaze to travel up the old cherry trees. In another month, their boughs would be filled with tiny rose blossoms and the air would smell of spring. He would likely never again see them from this angle.</p><p>'Oi, Natsume! What are you spacing out for again?'</p><p>Natsume turned away from the window to face Nishimura's humorous expression. He was going to miss this, he realised. Nishimura was starting university next month, Kitamoto would be starting work at his uncle’s firm and he didn’t really know what Tanuma would be doing, but everything was about to irrevocably change and again Natsume was powerless to stop it.</p><p>'Let me see if your uniform is in order.' Nishimura gave Natsume a thorough once-over. 'Looking as pretty as ever. I'm jealous!'</p><p>Natsume forced himself to ignore having been called pretty—there wasn't much he could do about it. He would be nineteen soon and still had the same delicate, ethereal looks as when he had come to this town. Besides, Nishimura had meant no harm. He made himself smile and said: 'You look good too, Nishimura. Is your sister coming today?'</p><p>'Yes. I told her she should stay at home, but she wouldn't hear of it. Can you imagine, she wants my button?!' Nishimura paused and seemed to be waiting for Natsume to react.</p><p>'Er, button?' Natsume ventured.</p><p>'Yes, my button! My second button!' Seeing Natsume's bewildered expression, Nishimura gaped at his friend. 'Eh?! You don't know what it means to give your button away on graduation?'</p><p>Natsume shook his head.</p><p>'Oh, why am I even surprised,' Nishimura huffed, then pointed to his chest. 'See, the second button lies closest to the heart, so girls who like you will ask for it and you give it to the one you like best.' Seeing that his friend still wasn't quite following, Nishimura enunciated slowly: 'As in, the girl you like romantically.'</p><p>Finally, Natsume's lips curled up. 'So you sister—'</p><p>'Yes! I have got to avoid her after the ceremony!'</p><p>Nishimura prattled on about girls while Natsume tuned him out. He let his eyes wander around the classroom. The class was slightly chaotic with students fidgeting with their clothes, chatting with their neighbours, and laughing nervously. Their homeroom teacher had given up on trying to institute order; instead, his eyes flitted across the room, to the clock above the blackboard, the classroom loudspeaker and back to the class.</p><p>Natsume straightened his jacket one more time and fumbled with his corsage. Was it pinned on straight? It wouldn't do for Shigeru and Touko to think him negligent. Today was as much about them as it was him. More, even. They had given him a home filled with love and acceptance, had encouraged him to do his best and had been proud of his achievements, no matter how small. The least he could do is be on his best behaviour.</p><p>Just as Nishimura turned to Natsume to demand his input on who the cutest girl in their year was (Taki, but that was because she was the only girl Natsume really noticed), the announcement came that it was time for the third-year students to join the audience in the celebration hall.</p><p>They all quickly filed into a row behind the teacher and left the classroom, joining the other classes in the hallway to form one long line. Natsume managed to exchange a wave and smile with Tanuma and Kitamoto before the procession silently descended the stairs, crossed the entry hall, and entered the gym that had been decked out in festive decorations and was now filled with sombre-looking people in their best attire.</p><p>Natsume's eyes swept over the hall, noting Shigeru and Touko sitting towards the front of the family sitting area—they must have come early. Natsume's heart filled with the familiar mixture of joy and shame—joy over being so loved, and shame over not having done much to deserve it. He made himself focus on his steps and on taking measured breaths, in and out, in and out. He observed how light and airy the hall felt due to the large windows on the sides, how high the ceiling was, how solid the ground underneath his feet. There was a brief moment of expectant silence, before the hall filled with the heavy notes of the graduation anthem, played by the school band from the balcony, and everyone stood up.</p><p>The cacophony of voices was overwhelming but also strangely soothing. <i>'How time flies, I can't believe how quickly the moments have passed. The previous years have come and gone too soon, here with you. ... And I will always square my shoulders and keep my head held high ...' </i> Natsume closed his eyes and felt himself getting drawn along by the voices, up above the crowd, past the band, the windows, out into the blue expanse of the sky, over the river and towards the woods, where something was waiting, something, no, someone was waiting for him to... Shivering, he found himself back in his body and being tugged to sit down by his classmate. The anthem was finished, and it was time for the first of the many boring speeches.</p><p>The speakers' words drifted in and out of Natsume's awareness. After a couple more hours of tedious announcements, class representatives collecting the diplomas, more speeches and another song played by the band so enthusiastically that it made several attendees think the members and the conductor all had to urgently be somewhere else (the bathroom, Natsume mused), the graduates and their families were ushered upstairs to the classrooms for the final goodbyes.</p><p>Unlike earlier, the atmosphere in the room was relaxed and joyful. Parents and siblings stood at the back of the class, holding cameras and snapping pictures as the students walked to the front one by one to receive their diplomas. When it was Natsume's turn, he could feel Shigeru and Touko's eyes on him. He bowed to the teacher who wished him good luck and turned to the Fujiwaras with a small but genuine smile. Shigeru was smiling back and taking a photo, Touko had tears in her eyes and her smile was soft and warm like the summer sun. Natsume's heart contracted for a second before he allowed himself to feel how loved he was. This is my family, he thought. His smile widened as he joined them in waiting for the last classmate to receive their papers before they would all be gathering outside.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>The mood in the courtyard was wild and boisterous. The first- and second-year students who had been waiting to celebrate with their seniors pounced on the graduates. Natsume wished he was anywhere but in this melee. He turned somewhat panicked eyes on Shigeru and Touko, who didn't seem to notice his awkwardness.<p>'Takashi, please go and enjoy yourself,' Touko said. 'And bring your friends over for lunch if you like.'</p><p>Natsume smiled somewhat mechanically and nodded, then turned to shake Shigeru's proffered hand and accept his congratulations, before making his way through the crowd to where Tanuma stood chatting with Nishimura and Kitamoto. A gaggle of girls ran up to the group before Natsume could reach them, throwing paper flowers at the three boys and chanting 'Congratulations!' and 'Go! Fight! Win!', ending the cheer with peals of laughter that ricocheted from the walls of the school like a swarm of birds taking flight. Natsume recognised Taki's melodious voice before seeing her; she was resplendent in her happiness and he couldn't help but smile at her for real.</p><p>'Natsume!' she cried when she noticed him, ran the few steps towards him, and, all of a sudden, he was covered with small paper flowers, a few of which got stuck in his hair. 'Congratulations!' she exclaimed, before drawing him into the now laughing group.</p><p>Natsume was patting his hair to shake the flowers off when a hand reached over to pluck them off one by one. He turned to look at Tanuma whose hand was now brushing through his hair and whose eyes looked impossibly fond, and Natsume’s breath hitched. He quickly looked down and away and was glad when Tanuma's hand returned to his side. Natsume made himself pay attention to the conversation around him. It appeared that Nishimura was teasing the girls, who laughed some more and flitted away, to another group of boys and girls this time, their voices partly swallowed by the hum of the crowded courtyard. Taki looked back once to poke her tongue out at Nishimura, who pretended to be hurt, while Kitamoto and Tanuma were laughing and Natsume joined in.</p><p>'Hey Natsume! How come you still have all your buttons?' Nishimura ribbed him.</p><p>Natsume frowned. 'Why wouldn't I?'</p><p>'Are you kidding me?' Nishimura spluttered. 'The girls are all over you.'</p><p>Before Natsume had the time to react, Kitamoto came to his rescue. 'More importantly, Nishimura, how come your sister hasn't stolen your button by now?'</p><p>'I managed to slip away.' Nishimura boasted.</p><p>'I think it's nice that your sister likes you so much,' Tanuma said good-naturedly.</p><p>'You're one to talk! Who took your button, Tanuma?' Nishimura retorted.</p><p>There was indeed only a piece of string hanging where a button used to be and Tanuma's cheeks sported a slight blush that made him appear at once younger and somehow more mature. For some unfathomable reason Natsume's insides seemed to have been pulled into a vacuum. He had been feeling strange all morning, in fact. Maybe it was time to go home.</p><p>'Touko asked me to invite all of you to lunch at our house, if you'd like to come,' he addressed the trio.</p><p>Both Nishimura and Kitamoto had family commitments, but Tanuma easily agreed. 'My dad is travelling again and I'm home alone. If you're sure it's not a bother, I'd love to come.'</p><p>Natsume assured him that it was fine and that the Fujiwaras would be happy to have him, so after saying goodbye to the others and promising to meet up again soon, they left the courtyard.</p><p>The park across the street was now filled with students and families leaving the school, with smaller children running circles around them and squealing. The sun had momentarily chased away the clouds and the women's colourful kimonos shone like flowers amidst the earthy tones of the men's formal suits. </p><p>Tanuma and Natsume walked leisurely, making small talk like they always had on their walks to and from school. Once or twice, Natsume wanted to ask about the button, but ended up swallowing the words. As close as he and Tanuma were, there was sometimes this sense of unbridgeable distance between them, as if their friendship hung in a delicate balance Natsume mustn't upset.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Lunch was a fun, festive affair. Touko had cooked some of her best dishes, the smell of which drew even Nyanko-sensei from Natsume's room to join the company at the table, where the fat cat—'Ponta, you're getting fatter by the day!' Tanuma had exclaimed—received his own plate of delicacies that he attacked swiftly and meticulously, all the while keeping a narrowed eye at Tanuma, should the latter decide to make any more jabs at sensei's magnificent person.<p>After the meal, as everyone was leaning back in their chair to make room for their full bellies, Touko surprised Natsume with a proposition. 'My good friend has just finished remodelling her family onsen and has invited us to spend a few days,' she said. 'Shigeru and I can't go, but we thought it would be a lovely vacation for you boys. You can invite whomever you like, there's enough room.'</p><p>The two boys gratefully accepted. Natsume eyed Nyanko-sensei. 'Does the onsen allow pets?' he asked Touko. It would be a real bother if sensei decided to smuggle himself along again and cause trouble for their hostess.</p><p>'I'll be sure to ask,' Touko smiled.</p><p>A few minutes of small talk later, Tanuma excused himself, saying that had to go home.</p><p>'Aren't you spending the night alone again?' Natsume asked, thinking of asking Tanuma to stay over.</p><p>'Yes, but I need to get the house ready for when my dad returns tomorrow,' was the reply he received. They were now standing in the foyer and Tanuma was putting on his shoes.</p><p>'Would you like some company tonight?' Natsume blurted out, then his eyes widened, and he stammered: 'I'm sorry, I’m … that was weird. Sorry.'</p><p>Tanuma smiled his easy, warm smile at Natsume, while for a brief second, his eyes flickered with something that might have been regret and ... hurt? Natsume was surely seeing things. 'Don't be silly, Natsume, you know I love to have you over. It's just that I still need to do some things before my dad returns.'</p><p>'Oh, okay,' Natsume replied, trying for nonchalance. Why did he feel like letting Tanuma walk away would solidify that growing chasm between them? A chasm they could no longer try to breach by casually hanging out at school or walking home together, chatting about everything and nothing.</p><p>Tanuma seemed to sense it too, and there was that piercing glint of emotion in his gaze again as he reached towards Natsume, seemed to think better of it and briefly ruffled Natsume's hair. 'See you later, Natsume. Have a good night!' Tanuma waved, turned and walked away. He refused to look back or to wave one last time before rounding the corner; he didn't quite trust his face not to betray him.<br/>
Rounding the corner and disappearing from Natsume's view, Tanuma finally allowed the fingers of his hand—the one that had reached out and touched Natsume's silken strands—to clench into a fist as if to crush the lingering sensations. What had possessed him to do it? He had also unconsciously touched Natsume’s hair in the courtyard, when he picked off the little flowers that had peppered it like giant snowflakes.</p><p>Tanuma shook his head and picked up his pace. Such thoughts were better squashed immediately. Natsume was beyond his reach and trying to come closer would only hurt. Both he and Taki had come to the same conclusion; no matter how much they tried, neither of them could ever catch up to Natsume, could never really be there for him the way he needed it. Yes, they could try to be his friends and they would, but in the end, they could not follow where Natsume was going.</p><p>Slowing down as he entered the dusky forest, Tanuma's fingers reached for the loose thread where his button used to be. She had approached him after school one day when Natsume was staying home sick as a result of another run-in with the youkai. They had stayed at the park across from the school well into the evening; it had felt so comforting talking to her because she knew what it was like to know about the spirit world but not be able to see or touch it. They were kindred souls, and Taki's hair was so soft, even though it wasn't silver—no. Time to let it go.</p><p>He had known it for a while now, ever since he had asked Natori about what it takes to become an exorcist and had learned that only those who possess enough spiritual power to see and hear spirits can become exorcists. He had thanked Natori and decided that night to follow in his father's footsteps.</p><p>Nearing the house now, Tanuma noticed a figure standing on the wooden engawa outside his room. The figure slowly came into focus and Tanuma's tense mouth relaxed into a smile. She was early and he was so happy to see her. When he stopped in front of her, she lifted her hand to cup his cheek and he saw that she was carrying a bracelet with his button sewn on. He covered her hand with his and leaned into the touch, before drawing her into a tight embrace and allowing all thoughts of Natsume to fall aside.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>Natsume had completely lost track of time staring after Tanuma leaving and was still standing in the doorway when Shigeru called him over.<p>'Everything alright, Takashi?' Shigeru asked.</p><p>'Oh, uh, fine, Shigeru-san,' Natsume said. 'I was just thinking about something.'</p><p>'Come join me for tea,' Shigeru invited him and Natsume followed him back to the dining room, where Shigeru put on the kettle. 'Have you thought about what you would like to do now that high school is over?'</p><p>'Some. I want to start working.'</p><p>Shigeru hummed. He had expected this answer. 'Any particular job?'</p><p>'No.' Natsume sighed. 'I don't know what I would be good at. I don't have any special skills.' <i>At least not ones I'm willing to use.</i> He would not work as an exorcist no matter what.</p><p>'You can always try out different things,' Shigeru replied, bringing the kettle filled with tea and a pair of cups to the table, then sat down. 'You can develop the necessary skills with time, as long as you have the motivation.'</p><p>Natsume lowered his head and started absentmindedly kneading the knuckles of one hand with the fingers of the other. 'I want to be able to take care of myself. And I want to be able to take care of you someday,' he added shyly.</p><p>Shigeru laid his hand on Natsume's and gave it a gentle squeeze, making Natsume look up. His foster father seemed to be stuck for words, but his eyes told Natsume everything he needed to know. Natsume blinked to make the prickle in his eyes go away.</p><p>Shigeru smiled. 'I hope you know that you can stay here with us for as long as you want. You can take your time looking for the work that suits you best. Or if you want to move somewhere else...?'</p><p>'No,' Natsume replied. 'I like it here.'</p><p>They continued discussing Natsume's options over tea. Shigeru is good at being a father, Natsume thought later as he was preparing for bed. Sensei was already nestled into his own blanket and following Natsume with his wide-eyed, inscrutable gaze.</p><p>Turning off the light and lying down, Natsume asked while looking at the ceiling: 'Sensei... do you want to get manju tomorrow?'</p><p>There was silence and Natsume turned to look at the rotund Maneki-neko. Sensei's eyes shone in the semi-darkness. 'There's this new shop on the other side of town,' was the youkai's reply.</p><p>Natsume hummed in agreement and let his eyelids close in invitation of sleep. His body became first heavy, then incredibly light, and soon he was pulled into a dream of flying over the richly green forests and clear blue streams towards something just beyond his reach, while a pair of wide cat eyes continued to glint in the dim light of the crescent moon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. The Calm Before the Storm</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The following Friday, Natsume, Tanuma, Kitamoto and Nishimura checked into the onsen owned by Touko's friend. The hostess was an energetic woman of indeterminable middle age, whose tight bun was lightly streaked with strands of grey and whose eyes crinkled at the corners as she greeted the boys.</p><p>'Welcome! Thank you for coming.' She turned to Natsume. 'You must be Takashi! I've heard so much about you from Touko. My, what a handsome lad you are.' At this, Nishimura snickered quietly. Natsume didn’t know where to look. 'Come, I'll show you to the room.'</p><p>She continued to chatter on as she led the group to their suite for the weekend. It was unexpectedly luxurious, with two bedrooms opposite each other, a joint sitting room in the middle, and a small bathroom. The sitting room was covered with a tatami rug, with a low table in the centre and large floor to ceiling windows overlooking a private garden with a decent-sized private pool.</p><p>'You will probably want to use the common bathing areas because they offer much more variety, but if you want to relax in private, you can just stay here. We can also deliver your meals to your room if you want, or you can visit the dining hall,' the hostess explained. 'If there is anything you need, please let me know, and have a pleasant stay.' </p><p>The boys bowed in thanks, then started putting down their bags as they discussed the sleeping arrangements. Natsume's bag gave a loud yelp when it hit the ground, then the flap opened and Nyanko-sensei jumped out, shaking his fur and grimacing at Natsume. Before he could open his mouth again and give himself away to Kitamoto and Nishimura, Natsume grabbed him and swiftly walked to the door, throwing at the others that he forgot to introduce Nyanko to the hostess and to just choose his room for him.</p><p>Once in the hallway, Natsume breathed a sigh of relief. 'Sensei, you really need to behave like a normal cat this weekend!' he chided.</p><p>Nyanko harrumphed and jumped on Natsume's shoulder, where he continued laying like an oversized dumpling as Natsume approached the hostess and apologised for failing to mention the cat. The hostess waved his apologies away, saying that Touko had already told her the cat might be coming along and that Natsume would find a litter box in the bathroom. Natsume had to cover up the laugh that threatened to escape him as he pictured Nyanko-sensei using the litter box, and the sharp little claws that were suddenly pricking his shoulder were only making it worse.</p><p>He was still chuckling on the way back to the room, when, turning a corner, he almost ran into another person.</p><p>'Oh, I'm sorry!' he exclaimed.</p><p>'Natsume-kun? Fancy seeing you here,' came the reply, and Natsume raised his eyes to meet the green-grey ones of Nanase.</p><p>'Nanase-san,' he breathed.</p><p>The normally so prim and proper second-in-command of the Matoba clan was dressed in the onsen's simple pale blue yukata, hair wrapped up in a fluffy towel and holding a small wooden bucket with bathing necessities. Once he got over the initial shock of seeing Nanase this laid-back, Natsume's eyes flitted around in alarm.</p><p>Of course, Nanase noticed and laughed. 'Don't worry, Natsume-kun, I'm here privately. Even exorcists sometimes get to take a holiday. Have you been here long?'</p><p>Natsume relaxed. 'We just arrived and will be spending the weekend.'</p><p>'How lovely. I'm sure you will enjoy your stay. See you around, Natsume.' She gave him her usual sharp smile and nodded at Nyanko who pointedly ignored her.</p><p>'You too, Nanase-san,' Natsume replied politely, and walked back to the room, scolding Nyanko who was muttering about filthy exorcists to be quiet.</p><p>Re-entering the suite, Natsume found the others already preparing to visit the baths. Nishimura pointed Natsume to the room on the left that he'd be sharing with Tanuma, who had already carried Natsume's bags inside, placing them next to one of the two futons that occupied the centre of the room.</p><p>Tanuma was in the middle of undressing, his shirt and sweater folded neatly on a shelf of the open wardrobe. He looked over at Natsume while unbuttoning and taking off his trousers and asked if everything was alright concerning 'Ponta'. Natsume's eyes that had automatically trailed along the curve of Tanuma's bent form from chest to feet sprang back up to Tanuma's face. If Tanuma had noticed the look, he didn't acknowledge it, so Natsume decided to squash his vague sense of guilt over what had basically amounted to ogling Tanuma's body and proceeded to tell Tanuma all about the kitty litter.</p><p>Amid their peals of laughter, Nyanko-sensei jumped down from Natsume's shoulder, gave them a disdainful glare that implied they were morons unworthy of even his anger, and told Natsume he would be going out to check the local youkai population. Natsume was willing to bet Sensei wouldn't be returning until late in the night, reeking of sake as usual.</p><p>Tanuma gently reminded Natsume to get dressed (or rather, undressed) for the baths and left the bedroom to meet the other two in the sitting room, all three now clad in the simple blue yukata provided by the onsen. Natsume quickly changed into one himself and joined them. They each grabbed one of the wooden buckets filled with bathing necessities.</p><p>'Let's go, guys!' Nishimura exclaimed. His enthusiasm was catching and by the time they entered the large bathroom to shower, they were all laughing and excited about exploring the pools.</p><p>'There is even a waterfall in one of them and they have these floating trays to hold your drink!' Nishimura enthused, then turned to Kitamoto: 'You do my back, I do yours?'</p><p>Kitamoto nodded and they settled on their stools next to each other, beginning to lather the luxurious soap provided by the onsen onto their bodies with soft, puffy towel mittens.</p><p>Natsume turned to Tanuma. 'Do you want me to do your back, Tanuma?'</p><p>'You first,' came the easy reply. 'Turn around.'</p><p>Natsume obeyed and turned towards the sleek bathroom wall where he could just make out Tanuma's figure in the dim reflection on the dark, glossy tiles. Tanuma placed the washcloth under the water stream for a moment, then added a dollop of liquid soap and began washing Natsume's back in large, sure circles, starting from his spine, up towards the back of his neck, where the soapy cloth momentarily slid beneath the tips of Natsume's hair, then coming down at the sides of his back and under the shoulder blade, only to start another circle over the yet untouched skin.</p><p>It was warm and calming, soothing even. Natsume closed his eyes, leaning forward a bit to give Tanuma better access. Tanuma's strokes never wavered or let up—like a slow and steady caress over Natsume's back with just the right amount of pressure to be deeply relaxing; a sensation unlike any other that Natsume had experienced. Not that he had been touched much in his life, after his father died. He was already too old for cuddles when he came to live with the Fujiwaras, though Touko did give the warmest hugs and Shigeru the best pats on the shoulder. There was Sensei, of course, in both his rotund, fluffy form and his true appearance with silken fur that Natsume loved to lean into.</p><p>A nudge from Tanuma brought Natsume back to the present. His eyes still held a dreamy, utterly relaxed expression as he turned up towards Tanuma and accepted the proffered washcloth. 'Thank you, Tanuma,' he smiled. 'Let me do you now.'</p><p>Tanuma had to bite on the inside of his lower lip to prevent himself from reacting to Natsume's unfortunate and unintended innuendo or his lazy, sensuous look in a way that he certainly wouldn't be able to hide or take back. The widening of his pupils might have given him away, but luckily they were hard to distinguish from the deep brown of his irises.</p><p>Taking a controlled, steady breath, he replied: 'It's okay, I need to use the toilet. Go on ahead with Nishimura and Kitamoto, I'll be fine.' <i>I'll be fine, I'll be fine, what a lie.</i> When had he started lying to his best friend? Tanuma couldn't remember anymore. He was feeling sick.</p><p>Natsume nodded and rose, wrapping a towel around his hips, and ambled towards the doors to the outside pool area. Tanuma made his way to the toilets, shutting himself into a cubicle and sitting down on the covered toilet. Elbows on knees, he leaned his face into his hands, pressing with the pads of his palms against his cheeks and running his hands over his eyes and into his sweaty hair.<br/>
He felt hot all over, and like any moment now he would burst, like his skin was suddenly too tight. Why could he not stop being so greedy? He snorted, or maybe he sobbed, he couldn't tell. </p><p>Gathering himself together, he exited the toilets and took a quick but thorough shower. <i>Just two more days</i>, he kept chanting in his head, <i>I can do this</i>. When he joined the others, he was again his usual composed self, and if he was a bit more distant than normally, nobody seemed to notice.</p><p>The four spent a leisurely afternoon dipping into the various pools and baths in-between resting on the luxurious recliners and nibbling on the fruit that was set out for the guests, along with tea and freshly pressed orange juice. When dusk fell, they clambered out of the last bath (a special healing mineral one), towelled themselves dry before haphazardly putting on their yukatas, and practically ran to their suite to order dinner; spending most of the day in warm water had made them ravenous.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>After the simple but incredibly tasty meal, which had been delivered to their suite, Nishimura fished out a bottle of Hombo Shuzo Arawaza Sakurajima Shochu and four cups, along with a bunch of porn magazines from his bag, earning himself playful outrage from Kitamoto and exasperated but humorous sighs from the other two.<p>Nishimura was in his element and refused to be deterred by the rather tepid reception of his gesture. 'We have to toast to our graduation! My uncle secretly gifted me this bottle.' He poured everyone a cup of the high-quality sake. 'Come on, guys!'</p><p>'I'm not sure about this, Nishimura. Is it really okay for us to drink?' Tanuma asked.</p><p>'Of course! Just don't overdo it and you'll be fine,' Nishimura said with confidence. 'Here, cheers!'</p><p>They raised their cups and took measured sips, jointly deciding that the sake tasted good and didn't seem to be too strong.</p><p>Really, Tanuma should have seen it coming. His chest and belly felt pleasantly warm and he was having fun observing Kitamoto trying to avoid the porn magazine that Nishimura insisted on shoving into his face, while Natsume peeked from the side with his cheeks flushed from either embarrassment or the alcohol—or possibly both. </p><p>Eventually, Nishimura managed to rope Kitamoto into an enthusiastic discussion on what makes women sexy, while Natsume seemed to slowly sag in on himself the more he drank. When Tanuma called out to him, his head swivelled towards him in an exaggerated motion and his unfocused eyes kept sliding off Tanuma's. Tanuma didn't know whether to laugh or to cry.</p><p>'Come on, Natsume, time for bed,' he said, nodding to the other two who had paused long enough to snigger at Natsume's state before continuing their debate.</p><p>Natsume tilted his head and his upper body swayed, so Tanuma grabbed him gently underneath his arms and lifted him up, helping him into their bedroom. As he carefully laid Natsume down onto the futon, Natsume held onto his shoulder and asked: 'What do you find sexy, Tanuma?'</p><p><i>Oh for the love of ...</i> Tanuma mentally shook himself, gently taking Natsume's hand off his shoulder and setting it down. 'It doesn't matter, does it? Everyone has their own preferences. It doesn't make sense to compare.'</p><p>'I don't think I find anything sexy,' Natsume frowned. 'How does sexy feel, anyway?'</p><p>'It feels ...' Suddenly, Tanuma felt bone-tired. 'Go to sleep, Natsume. We can talk about it tomorrow if you want.' Hopefully, Natsume wouldn't remember.</p><p>But Natsume wasn't finished yet. 'What's your girlfriend like, Tanuma?' His eyes were closed, one hand resting on his belly that lightly rose and fell with his breath.</p><p>Tanuma kept his eyes on that spot and decided to humour him. 'She's strong and kind. And pretty.'</p><p>'Mhh,' hummed Natsume. 'Do I know her?'</p><p>Tanuma steeled himself. 'Yes.'</p><p>'Oh.' Natsume's forehead briefly scrunched up, clearing almost immediately. A small smile graced his lips and he opened his eyes just enough to peek at Tanuma. 'It's Taki, isn't it?'</p><p>Tanuma huffed. 'How did you know?'</p><p>'It just makes sense,' Natsume replied dreamily, closing his eyes again. 'You are so similar and you're both wonderful people. Congratulations!'</p><p>For the second time tonight, Tanuma didn't know whether to laugh or cry. 'Thank you. Now sleep, Natsume.'</p><p>'Mhm. Good night, Tanuma.'</p><p>'Good night, Natsume.'</p><p>Tanuma felt too restless to sleep, so he returned to the sitting room and joined the other two in their easy, drunken conversation, during which they managed to empty the bottle. They stumbled into their respective futons late into the night and fell asleep almost immediately.</p><p>Not much later, the silence of the night was pierced by Nishimura's screams. In an instant, Natsume and Tanuma were both up and running towards the room occupied by the other two. Tanuma yanked the door open to find Nishimura yelling inarticulately and Kitamoto trying to shake him awake.</p><p>'He's having a nightmare; I can't wake him up!' Nishimura seemed on the verge of panicking. </p><p>'Tanuma, get me a wet towel!'</p><p>Tanuma rushed back out of the room, making space for Natsume, who now had a clear view of the room and thus of the little girl in a bright patterned kimono sitting on Nishimura's chest, grinning mischievously and giving little whoops as if she was riding a particularly jittery rocking horse. As soon as she saw Natsume looking at her, however, her smile slipped off her lips, which now formed a charming O mirrored by her round-eyed look. Two heartbeats later she turned into a large tanuki and jumped through the wall into the hall. Natsume could hear the retreating pitter-patter of small feet, then absolute silence. </p><p>Nishimura had stopped screaming and was now blinking blearily at Kitamoto. Tanuma, who had returned to the room with a wet towel, remained standing by the door, taking in the situation before his eyes settled on Natsume, who caught them as he turned back to the others. He gave a tiny nod to Tanuma to let him know that it had been a youkai, then waved his hand subtly to indicate that it was gone now. As always, Tanuma understood immediately and turned his attention to the other two.</p><p>Nishimura was questioning why everyone was surrounding him and complaining about being woken up.</p><p>'You were the one who woke us up, Nishimura. You were screaming in your sleep,' sighed Kitamoto. 'We couldn't wake you up.'</p><p>'No way that’s true,' Nishimura groused. 'I would remember having a screaming nightmare.' He flapped his hand in the direction of his feet. 'Is this some stupid prank?'</p><p>There at the end of the futon lay Nishimura's pillow. The other three hadn't even noticed and now they all stared at it with varying expressions. Kitamoto simply looked confused, Natsume looked lost in thought and Tanuma looked worried. When none of the three replied, Nishimura barked out: 'Stop pretending that this was Makuragaeshi and own up to it already!'</p><p>Kitamoto gave Tanuma and Natsume an uneasy glance, then addressed Nishimura: 'I swear we didn't touch your pillow. And you were screaming. I tried to shake you awake and you wouldn't wake up. Then suddenly you stopped and opened your eyes. You really don't remember?' Kitamoto's serious expression was mirrored by the other two, which slowly changed Nishimura's own to a slight grimace. </p><p>'Do you guys think ...' Nishimura couldn't make himself say it. Surely it was stupid, but his sense of unease kept growing, and he was aware that he was about to say something stupid and childish.</p><p>He was saved from the potential embarrassment by a loud bang against the terrace door. Everyone jumped and Tanuma, who was nearest to the door, swivelled around to see what had happened. A moment later he huffed a laugh and called out: 'It's Ponta!'</p><p>Still holding the wet towel, he walked to the glass doors and opened them to let the fat cat inside. 'Where have you been, you fatty? You're lucky we were up, or you would have had to stay outside.'</p><p>Nyanko-sensei snorted and deliberately butted into Tanuma's leg as he walked past him into the room, which caused Tanuma to drop the wet towel directly onto Nyanko’s face. Natsume, who had come out to the sitting room too, barely had time to jump in, grab Sensei and shush him before the latter could jump on Tanuma and berate him in a very un-catlike manner.</p><p>Picking up the towel and passing it to Tanuma, Natsume quickly explained to them both what he had seen.</p><p>'Curious,' Sensei murmured. 'I didn't know a tanuki youkai was around. I'll have to investigate—'</p><p>'Not now,' Natsume interrupted. 'Please stay with Nishimura and Kitamoto tonight.'</p><p>Nyanko-sensei gave him the stink eye, then jumped from his arms and sauntered into the bedroom where Nishimura and Kitamoto were sitting stiffly on their futons and talking in low voices. He started purring and rubbing his head against first one, then the other, allowing himself to be scratched behind the ears and petted, until the tension seeped away from the two boys.</p><p>'Damn sake, I’m never drinking again,' Nishimura scoffed, then yawned. 'Let's try and get more sleep.'</p><p>All four—five, counting Sensei—were exhausted, so there were no objections and they all settled down again. Gradually, their breaths became regular and slowed down, and they slept peacefully until late morning.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>* * *</p>
</div>The following day, they decided to avoid the baths in favour of going on a hike. Kitamoto had researched the area and noted down a few hiking trails through the local forest that would take them to various old shrines. Over an early luch, they decided on the longest trail that would lead them past two shrines to a natural spring with supposedly healing fresh water.<p>The weather was perfect for a hike; fresh without being cold, the sky sprinkled with cotton-ball clouds. They walked into the forest, sunlight dappling the ground from above and swaying in the slight breeze that barely made it into the forest itself. Whenever it did, the earthy scent permeating the air became stronger and the boys took deep breaths, grateful for the clear-headedness it brought.</p><p>Natsume looked at Nyanko who was draped across Tanuma's shoulder and smiled at the unlikely pair. Sensei scowled in response, but Natsume could tell it was just an affectation - Sensei was enjoying this as much as the rest of them. Lifting his eyes, Natsume caught Tanuma's gaze.</p><p>'How are you feeling, Natsume?' Tanuma asked.</p><p>‘I’m fine. I guess I'm not cut out for drinking. You’re looking worse for wear, though; are you okay?’</p><p>‘Not yet, but I will be. I just need to clear my head.'</p><p>Neither brought up the unfinished topic from the previous night.</p><p>‘What are you going to do next?’ </p><p>When Tanuma raised his eyebrows in question, Natsume clarified: ‘After school, I mean. Are you getting a job?’</p><p>‘I’m going to apprentice with my dad,’ Tanuma replied, peeking at Natsume from beneath his fringe to gauge his reaction.</p><p>‘Oh, that’s really cool!’ Natsume enthused. ‘I didn't realise you wanted to do that. Will you become a monk then?’</p><p>Tanuma laughed. ‘That's the plan.’</p><p>‘What about Taki?’ Natsume asked.</p><p>‘What about her?’</p><p>‘Is she… I mean, can you even date someone if… I mean, it’s none of my business…’ Natsume stuttered and fell silent, his face warm.</p><p>Tanuma laughed. ‘It’s okay, Natsume. You can ask. Apprentices can't have a relationship for five years, until they become monks. Afterwards, it’s fine. Taki is going to university anyway, so we’ll see how it goes.’</p><p>Natsume looked at the ground as if there was something highly interesting to see on it. He said quietly: ‘You two will make it. You’re made for each other.’</p><p>Tanuma sighed and stayed silent. They continued walking, avoiding each other’s eyes, their hands nearly touching as they swung with their steps but never closing that space. Nyanko looked from one to the other, pensive but also silent. The boys were so lost in their thoughts that they almost collided with Nishimura and Kitamoto, who had stopped to wait for them.</p><p>‘The first shrine is over here,’ Kitamoto gestured towards their left, where a narrow pathway led between the old trees to a small clearing. A small stone shrine was standing in its centre, decorated with fresh flowers. </p><p>‘Do you know who this shrine is for, Kitamoto?’ Natsume asked.</p><p>‘Supposedly, it’s was built for a local water kami. No wonder, water is very important for this region.’</p><p>They bowed, clapped and bowed again in the traditional two-two-one pattern, though their bows were deep nods instead of the proper 90-degree ones, then walked back to the main trail and continued onwards. They moved as a group now rather than in pairs, chatting and laughing about last night - making fun of Nishimura for bringing porn, to which Nishimura responded by deflecting attention to Natsume being ‘such a prude’ and ‘how are you ever going to get a girlfriend?’. The other two tried to shush him, but Nishimura wouldn’t be deterred.</p><p>‘Say, Natsume, do you even like girls?’ he inquired.</p><p>Natsume was so shocked he tripped over nothing and would have fallen, had Tanuma not caught him at the last moment. He gaped at Nishimura.</p><p>‘Why wouldn’t I like them? Girls are fine.’</p><p>Nishimura laughed. ‘That’s not what I’m asking. Are you even attracted to girls?’</p><p>‘What do you mean?’ Natsume asked.</p><p>Now it was Nishimura’s turn to stumble. Luckily, he caught himself in time, since nobody stepped in to help him. He looked accusingly at Kitamoto, who just stared back with eyebrows raised, so Nishimura turned back to Natsume.</p><p>‘Do you think girls are pretty?’ he asked.</p><p>‘Well, sure … I guess,’ Natsume replied, frowning.</p><p>‘Have you ever wanted to kiss one?’</p><p>Natsume opened his mouth, then closed it. He couldn’t remember ever having wanted to kiss any girl. Something tickled at the edges of his awareness, yet he ignored it.</p><p>‘Well?’ Nishimura prodded.</p><p>‘Not really. I mean, I’ve never thought about it,’ Natsume said finally.</p><p>‘Have you ever thought about kissing?’</p><p>‘Yes, who doesn’t?’ Natsume’s face was very hot by now.</p><p>‘Who did you think about kissing?’</p><p>‘Who …’ Natsume spluttered but was interrupted before he could go on.</p><p>‘That’s enough,’ Tanuma's words were quiet but heavy enough to make Nishimura shut up, even if his mouth kept twitching.</p><p>He turned to Natsume: ‘What Nishimura was trying to say is that boys can also like other boys.’ He forestalled Natsume’s protestations. ‘As more than friends.’</p><p>‘And it’s okay if they do,’ Kitamoto added, then looked pointedly at Nishimura. ‘But that’s none of our business. Let’s move on, so we’re back in time for dinner.’</p><p>As if in silent agreement, the three let Natsume walk in the back. Natsume was quiet, his mind spinning. Of course he was aware that some people liked people of their own gender. He had just never thought about the possibility that he might be like that, too. He tried to imagine what that would mean for him and failed. It’s not like he ever pictured himself getting married or having a family—passing on his abilities would be a burden rather than a blessing, and his children would certainly be targeted by ayakashi out for Reiko’s blood. Still, he yearned for a home and someone he could share his life with and call family. Could he see himself having that with a male partner?</p><p>A light breeze ruffled Natsume’s hair, so that the tips caressed his cheeks. He let go of the bewildering thread of thoughts and instead gave himself over to the sensations, letting them calm his mind. He failed to notice the breeze gradually intensifying or the forest getting darker and gloomier, until a heavy drop of water splashed right against his lower lip. Startled, he pushed out his tongue and licked it, which made him recall the talk about kissing; the sensation felt inexplicably intimate, and he was suddenly embarrassed to be indulging in it. He made himself focus on the others, who had by now also noticed the change in weather.</p><p>‘Looks like it’s going to rain!’ Kitamoto exclaimed.</p><p>‘Stupid weather report,’ Nishimura grumbled. ‘Didn’t it say it was supposed to be nice today, with only a 3-% chance of rain?’</p><p>‘3 % is still something. Guess we’re just out of luck,’ Tanuma added, cheerful as usual, which earned him a sideways glare from Nishimura that he easily ignored. ‘We should probably turn back.’</p><p>They hadn’t been walking for more than five minutes when Natsume began to feel pressure in his head that made him groggy. He had difficulty walking, feeling as if he was being held back by the rain and wind (which didn’t make sense because how could the wind that was coming from behind be doing anything other than push him forward, out of the forest?). Nyanko-Sensei noticed that something was weird about the same time as Natsume did. He jumped from Tanuma’s shoulder and in Natsume’s arms. The pull on Natsume lessened, and his eyes met Sensei’s in mutual understanding. Something about the weather was off and they needed to hurry before whatever it was became stronger.</p><p>The other three didn't seem to feel anything amiss and Natsume could only encourage them to walk more quickly despite feeling the growing need to run. He couldn’t leave them alone, so he had no choice but to walk last, placing himself between them and whatever was coming.</p><p>‘It’s getting stronger,’ Nyanko-sensei murmured. </p><p>‘Can you tell what it is?’ Natsume murmured back.</p><p>‘No. It’s almost here and yet I can’t sense its location. It must be a very powerful ayakashi.’</p><p>And then all at once Natsume could feel it—an overwhelming yet familiar presence, as if he had sensed it before, both terrifying and strangely soothing, drawing him in while also warning him away. The light in the forest became dimmer and the wind picked up pace until it shook the giant treetops, rattling the new leaves. Strangely, the wind that seemed to be so furious all around seemed to be caressing Natsume; a wet, cold touch trailing down the nape of his neck and along his earlobes. It seemed to whisper wordlessly, a promise or perhaps a vow, though of what Natsume couldn’t tell. The most he could sense was expectancy.</p><p>While the others whooped and laughed at the sudden gusts of rainy wind, Natsume whispered to Nyanko: ‘Sensei, do you feel anything in particular coming from whatever it is?’</p><p>'No, just that it’s strong. Probably a nature spirit or perhaps even a deity. Why?' Nyanko gave him a curious look.</p><p>'Nothing,' Natsume replied. ‘I was just wondering. It doesn’t seem like it’s going to harm us, beyond making us soaking wet.’</p><p>They made the trek back to the onsen in about half the time it took them to walk up the trail and they piled into the foyer all wet and chilled, laughing at each other’s sorry state. The hostess, who happened to be at the reception desk, gave a tiny squeak and rushed off to get them towels so they could at least somewhat dry themselves. She fussed and clucked over them like a mother hen, making them promise that they would immediately be taking a hot bath to warm up.</p><p>When they passed the reception, Natsume saw Nanase arrive and stop at the desk to return the key. He nudged Tanuma, who gave a tiny nod and led the other tow to their room.</p><p>Natsume stopped in front of Nanase, who looked at him in surprise, before her eyes shined in amusement.</p><p>‘Natsume-kun, did you jump into the baths with your clothes on?’</p><p>‘Ah, no.’ Natsume grimaced. ‘We were hiking in the mountain and got caught by the rain.’</p><p>‘How odd. I know for a fact that it was not supposed to rain today.’ Nanase frowned.</p><p>‘It was indeed odd,’ Natsume agreed. ‘And it’s not the first odd thing that happened since we got here.’</p><p>‘Oh?’ Nanase inquired.</p><p>‘Last night we were visited by a tanuki youkai.’ Natsume said, paying careful attention to Nanase’s facial expression, which, however, remained relaxed and just slightly confused.’</p><p>‘Curious. I haven’t seen it, but then I do have my Shiki guarding my room at all times.’ Nanase glanced at Nyanko-sensei and back at Natsume. ‘Was your cat not there with you?’</p><p>‘Don’t compare me to your puny slaves, human!’ Nyanko grumbled. ‘I’m not at anyone’s beck and call!’</p><p>‘No, I don’t suppose so.’ Nanase’s eyes glinted in mirth. ‘You better run along, Natsume. Your friends must be waiting.’</p><p>‘Of course. It was nice talking to you, Nanase-san.’ Natsume inclined his head politely.</p><p>There was a slight pause, as if Nanase was waiting for something more. Seeing that Natsume wouldn't say anything else, she replied: ‘You too, Natsume-kun. Until we see each other again, hm?’</p><p>They parted and Natsume walked swiftly to the room, surprisingly finding it empty—or so he thought, until he heard splashing from outside the sliding door to the terrace and saw that the three have smartly decided to slip into the nearest warm water they could find. Nyanko jumped down from his arm, shook his fur and headed into the bedroom for a nap before dinner. Quickly peeling off his clothes, Natsume joined the others to soak in the heat until it permeated his entire body and made him feel light and floaty. </p><p>He reflected on what Nyanko-sensei had told him before jumping off him; that trouble still follows him everywhere and that he must be careful. Natsume sighed. Sensei was right, of course; his life was forever entwined with the ayakashi world and no matter how hard he tried, the dangers would never cease. He wondered briefly what it will be like at his future workplace. Would he have to deal with ayakashi there, too? He pushed the thought away and focused on the here and now. Job issues could wait; he had today and tomorrow morning left to enjoy with his friends before they all went their more-or-less separate ways, and he was determined to make full use of the time that was left.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is a WIP and while I have an outline of where I want the story to go, there are so many ways for the characters to run away with it, so other than Natsume/Matoba I can't make any promises.</p><p>My stories tend to be dark. If you're easily triggered or you don't want to start reading something you might not be able to finish, please wait until the story is done and all the warnings have been added.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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